On the Ones and Twos Funny
30 Tweets About The Terrible Twos That Will Tickle Your Funny Bone
Hi, my name is Elle and I am completely controlled by my 2 year old son. #parenting #terribletwos #alexasendholywater
— Elle Gutierrez (@MrsElleG) September 24, 2020
Parenting a child going through the terrible twos in the middle of a pandemic really is a "hot mess, inside a dumpster fire, inside a train wreck." #parenting #terribletwos #COVID19 #sendwine #sendchocolate
— Nicole Davidson (@siwaandsharm) October 19, 2020
My toddler was eating a crayon so she got her daily serving of greens today, blues too.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 5, 2020
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) October 11, 2016Two things:
1: 2yo has begun wandering the house, creepily asking "Mommy, where are you?".
2: I am now in a horror movie.
— Kitzia (@kix5) November 3, 2020My kid said i was his best friend & then the rest of the day refused to be near me.
🤷 #toddlers
Read Next: 7 Ways Your Toddler Is A Better Negotiator Than You
— full metal mommy (@FullMetalMommy) May 4, 2015"So can you tell us what makes you qualified for the position of hostage negotiator?"
"I have a 2 year old."
"You're hired."
I know my 2yo loves me because I'm the one he runs to when he's stuffed too much food in his mouth and needs to spit it into someone's hand.
— MamaFizzles (@MamaFizzles) February 23, 2017
You haven't known suffering until you've taken a 2-year-old shopping for a birthday gift that isn't for them.
— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) September 3, 2016
My toddler is currently barking and scooting his butt across the floor like the dog we saw at the park last week, but on the bright side at least I likely don't have to deworm him.
— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab) November 10, 2020
I have discovered a mother's favorite thing to say: "it's not terrible twos it's terrible THREES ahahahah"
— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) October 29, 2017
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 15, 2016A dog once waited in the same spot for 9 years for his dead master
My 2-year-old is doing the same thing for an empty push pop I threw away pic.twitter.com/aGBOh9jAxd
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 15, 2016A dog once waited in the same spot for 9 years for his dead master
My 2-year-old is doing the same thing for an empty push pop I threw away pic.twitter.com/aGBOh9jAxd
— Salty Mermaid Entertainment (@saltymermaident) February 27, 2016Get off the table. Stay away from the trash. Stop licking old pizza. Don't play in the litter.
-Me, talking to my 2yo, not my cat
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 19, 2017My 2-year-old is running around the house naked and screaming, "No, monkeys! No!"
Being a toddler is a lot like a bad acid trip.
Our 2-year-old has reached that adorable milestone where he communicates through unintelligible words, screaming, and physical violence.
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) May 3, 2016
Just fell down the basement stairs. My 2-year-old saw it and was concerned, so he walked down to kiss it better - and stepped on my balls.
— Tired. Dad. Writer. (@DaddyFiles) April 12, 2016
You know you're crushing this parenthood thing when one of your kids says your 2 year old is drinking coffee and you don't even investigate.
— Kelcey Kintner (@mamabirddiaries) January 30, 2016
How a 2.833333 year old plays hide and seek. If I can't see her face, she must not exist right? #SchrodingersKid pic.twitter.com/8CTYAh1wor
— Brachmann (@VivaBrachmann) November 30, 2016
Read Next: 25 Tweets About Temper Tantrums From Parents Who Wish They Could Have Their Own Meltdown
I guess "please poop on the potty" sounds like "please poop on the coffee table" to my 2-year old son.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) August 17, 2015
Child's new thing is to spin in circles till he's dizzy and falls down. This is the 2 year old equivalent of going to the bar.
— dadpression (@Dadpression) October 24, 2016
I wish I loved anything as much as my 2yo loves her shadow.
— Stephanie Jankowski (@CrazyExhaustion) February 25, 2016
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 18, 2016I told my 2-year-old to get toilet paper to wipe her nose
She grabbed half a square
I told her to get a big piece
She came back with this pic.twitter.com/0X0lzH5Xmu
I guess "please poop on the potty" sounds like "please poop on the coffee table" to my 2-year old son.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) August 17, 2015
It has taken my 2yo less than 24 hours to make friends with the mannequin heads that hold my grandma's wigs.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) August 5, 2016
The ultimate toddler paradox: an unstoppable 2-year-old meeting an immovable sliding glass door.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) June 19, 2016
You think GG Allin did some fucked up stuff? Come meet my 2 year old that's learned to take off his diaper.
— Julia Segal (@juliasegal) January 19, 2017
Has anyone ever noticed how many similarities there are between toddlers and velociraptors? They both can get into anything, have sharp claws and teeth, like to bite, test all boundaries, hide in small spaces, and jump out at you randomly. #thoughtsonmom #momlife #toddlers
— Thoughts On Mom (@ThoughtsOnMom1) November 6, 2020
Well I've officially reached the "keys flushed down the toilet" age of parenting. #TerribleTwos
— Steven Dowling (@Steevzy) September 26, 2020
I tried the *screams* *screams higher* and I'm letting you know it does NOT work. #toddlers
— Kendall Rae 💋 (@kendallyuh) October 28, 2020
E turned 2 yrs two weeks ago and it's like a switch flipped. Every day, multiple battles. Someone please tell me it's worth it. #toddlers
— Brian Rosenbaum, MSSW, CVA (@bdrinla) October 25, 2020
Source: https://www.everymum.ie/kids/toddlers-1-3-yrs/30-tweets-about-the-terrible-twos-that-will-tickle-your-funny-bone
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